Let’s Have a Beer: Welcome to the Club of Parenthood

 

July 12 9:35am

Being a parent is a challenge. Being the best parent is more challenging when you already are. Parethood will change who you are (from food diet, sleeping patterns, fashion, interests, and so on…) so prepare for it. I got inspired by the Baby Center’s article so I made my own personal perspective when it comes to changes. Parents, expectants, or people wish to have a baby, here are the 20 changes of a new parent based on my experience (Note: Every individual is unique. You may or may not have the same experience):

1. In sleeping, you will get used to arm numbness, being kicked in the stomach or worse, in the face.
2. You will get paranoid to your baby’s first days/weeks of arrival.—In my experience, I wasn’t able to sleep for 72hours because I was so afraid that my daughter would need something from me such as feeding, diaper changing, and comforting her to sleep. I didn’t know that newborn baby normally sleeps for long hours. The worse case was: I check her every minute if she still breathes well so I wasn’t able to sleep.
3. You will be very excited on his/her firsts. First roll over, thumb suck, poo, bath, smile, laugh or even the dirty excess of the umbilical cord.
4. You spend more time in the mirror…watching your baby’s reaction to herself.
5. You will get used to sudden wake ups even if its siesta time. The hardest parts are the moments when you are half asleep and about to have a deep sleep then he/she suddenly cries because he/she can’t find his/her finger to suck on. It’s really pain in the ass especially when you are in the middle of a great sleep.
6. Your favorite sleeping position will be on the side (without facing your baby) when he/she does his/her loud broom-broom sound that showers your face when facing your child.
7. You will get mad at your husband most of the time for working late at night. If not, you will get mad at him for no reason at all. He will be your favorite punching bag. Taking care of a baby is not an easy work. It’s actually a profession that a parent must practice. P-a-t-i-e-n-c-e. But there are times (it may be most of the time) that you need a break but you can’t so all you can do is to release that stress and the person that is reliable and nearest to you is your husband/partner. For my husband: Sorry for being your wife. (Dracula’s laugh)Mwahahaha!
8. Sex will be out from your vocabulary…sometimes *wink!
9. You will feel isolated or may choose isolation when you had the first baby. Sometimes you just wanted to be alone with your baby enjoying the unlimited cuddles and smiles.
10. Your facebook contents will be everything about your baby such as profile photos, fb status, notes, video, or maybe a fan page too! Or worse, you will create his/her account. (I didn’t made her a fan page)
11. You will be pissed off of him/her for reaching the keyboard of your computer while using it like what I am experiencing now. I am typing using my one hand while I stop her from being near to my laptop. Sometimes, it takes few hours or days to finish typing one sentence.
12. You will be starting to talk to cockroaches. Words like “go to hell! ” or “Don’t get near to my baby” would be some examples of those conversation with it. But what if the cockroach answered you back? What will be your reaction? “Roach: Hey you moron, I’m pregnant! I’ll sue you for committing murder!” and then it died with a teary-eyed.
13. You will be acting so weird like what number 12 did.
14. For the mothers: you will feel fat. For the fathers: you will feel machismo on those belly fats.
15. Your baby will be the cutest baby in your eyes. And then “he/she looks like me” follows. Haha!
16. You will have LSS of those nursery rhymes or songs from Sesame Street. Worse thing part is when you are in the middle of a serious meeting then suddenly you sang it unintentionally. If this doesn’t happen, atleast singing it in your head while surfing the net, eating lunch, arguing with your husband/partner till you fall a sleep at night. C is for Cookie, that’s good enough for me…
17. Talk about Mozart, you will be a fan of classical music.
18. Special note for math haters: you will be meeting math again (scratches head).
19. You will be closer to God. Especially when your baby fell on the floor. “Oh my God!”
20. And lastly, you will feel what your parents feel. I just wish that I won’t feel the way my parents felt during the time that I was a drunkard student who goes home crawling.

Here’s a preview of my video blog about my daughter. Baby 24/7: Every baby is a HERO

There you go. I wish that you learned something from these. As I’ve said, every individual is unique. You don’t have to agree to all of it. If you want to have more of it, please leave a comment and I’ll make another booooring list. Kampai!